You see, what happens is your brain sends the signal out to your nerves saying, "Oh! The body is hurt in this part! Cut off the circulation!" So that's what happens. The circulation is cut off, thus making the limb become cold, and sometimes even swelling up and turning black and blue. In my case a joint would pop, swell up and turn black and blue. One time I was watching TV and I moved my hand just the tiniest bit. It cracked (we'd thought I may have broken a bone, but there was nothing wrong when they took an X-ray) and swelled up immediately- at least half of my hand swelled up. I believe it was the left side of my left hand, and it was about... I'd safely say one and a half centimeter's higher than the other side. We went to the ER, of course, and they couldn't figure it out. So they sent me home and that was that.

The only way to fight off this pain is to retrain your nerves. And there is only ONE way to do that: intense physical (PT) and occupational therapy(OT). Five hours a day, five days a week of exercise. My schedule consisted of two hours of PT two hours of OT and an hour of Aqua Therapy along with other various appointments throughout Children's to check on how I was doing. Eventually the days decreased to three days a week, then just once in awhile. Now it's just if my hands are getting worse, but that's usually because of the cold, besides I've grown used to the pain in my hands. I fight through it for my marching band every season- I play mallet percussion since I cannot march due to asthma- and am proud to be a part of the band.

In January, though, I became very ill and I haven't fully recovered since then, even now, in May. And on April 21st my throat began swelling shut, preventing me from breathing, of course, and thus from exercising to help my RND. And due to my inactivity the pain has returned and I find out Thursday what is going to happen. Will I just be left to do exercises at home? A check up with OT and PT? Or will I return to the intense program again? I really don' know.

I found these two video's of a young lady who has RSD: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, which is slightly different from RND, but at the same time it's all the same. She wrote songs while going through the program, something I tried to do, but my lyrics were never any good in my opinion, there was always something missing that I couldn't find. Of course, this was the summer before I came to the amazing Rock `N' Roll Camp For Girls, so maybe if I tried again I'd be able to find the right words. Anyways, I just thought I'd share these video's with you guys. Try and get the word out there through this little note until I can get one of my books published at long last and have others sympathize with my character who's plagued with it, much like myself. I have my escapes from my pain: my music and my writing. As I write my books it's hard to contact me, I get so lost in thought that my character's and their actions are the only things existent to me. And when I can sing, play my trumpet, French horn, guitar, bass guitar, piano- or whatever other instruments I play that I've failed to list- or listen to music then I can try to find a story that fits with the lyrics. So I do have my escapes from reality, but as I recently wrote in my finished re-re-re-re-edit of the first book in my series: "It was one of my few escapes-those dreams- of where I didn't have any pain or worries, but then I'd wake up and find reality ready and waiting to hit me again." Of course, my character is talking about dreams she had been having, but we are in a bit of the same situation.

ANYWAYS I'll just end this here. This story is still writing itself, and once it's done I hope to be pain free. Five- almost six- years I've had this pain syndrome. I thought it was gone for good once I got out of the intense OT PT, but we'll see where I stand by Thursday evening. I know that whatever path I'm sent down, though, it'll help me in the long run. Maybe it'll give me the ideas I need to get book two up to around three-hundred pages like book one (which will be doubled when and if printed) and get book three written, sending the writer's block far away. I'll get it figured out soon enough. =D

Part 1

Part 2